If only I could fly
by crocodillia
Summary: All Guang Hong wanted was to be a figure skater. That was before a wonderful, annoying, music-loving American appeared in his life. Funny how life-long wishes can change in an instant, isn't it? Multi-chapter. Mostly Leoji, also some Victuri too!
1. Chapter 1

_He was beautiful. The way he glided over the ice so smoothly it was like he wasn't even touching the ground. He looked like he was flying. His skates scored slashes in the ice and threw up little shards of ice that glittered in the light, much like his costume. With his arms outstretched he looked like a bird, the white fabric of his costume shining like feathers and his skates moving with such control it was hard to believe he was only eleven. I couldn't take my eyes off him. His gracefulness, the way he moved like he was telling a story, like his body was the source of the music... It made me want to glide with him, like two swans on a lake, casting ripples as they disappear into the sunset. The boy raised his arm over his head as he finished his routine and I watched, astounded, as he flicked his chestnut hair out of his eyes and smiled at me. It wasn't a big smile. Just the type that my mother does when I draw her a picture, or when she reads me a story that makes me laugh. A smile that tugged up the corners of his mouth, so small that I was sure that it wasn't even there. I inhaled quickly, and diverted my gaze to my feet. I only looked up again when I felt my mother adjust her position from where she was sat next to me. The boy was gone, but his smile lingered. I gently tugged my mother's coat sleeve. She turned her head and looked at me. The words lingered on my tongue. They weren't big words. They weren't amazing, change-the-world, win-the-war type words. But they were enough to change my life._

 _"I want to be a figure skater."_

I cried out as I slipped backwards and landed flat on my back, banging my head against the ice. For a moment I saw stars glittering in the corners of my vision and shook my head, my hair falling over my eyes. The ice was cold against my back and I fought back tears as I attempted to scramble up, but the heavy boots on my feet made me fall on my hands and knees. A tear escaped my eyelids, slid down my nose and dropped in between my hands. My nails dug into the scores in the ice and I tried to heave myself onto my feet again but my knees buckled and my legs slid outwards until I was almost in the splits. I gasped in pain and collapsed onto my stomach, tears running down my face and let a muffled sob escape my mouth. A shadow fell over my head. I snivelled, wiped my nose on my sleeve and looked up at the owner. It was the nice lady who'd helped me put my skates on. She smiled encouragingly at me and held out her hand, but I was in no mood to smile back. Taking her hand, she hauled me up onto my feet, where I skittered like a newborn foal before making a lunge for the side of the rink. My hands were numb with cold and I fumbled for a grip. Swallowing back more tears I whipped my head around when I heard the lady chuckle, almost dislodging my grip on the wall.

"You know, I've never seen any kid fall over within three seconds of getting on the ice!" she laughed. "You should be proud; that's quite an achievement!"

I glared at her. My glare always worked when my mother wanted me to wear a stupid hat, or when the boys in school were mean to me, but this lady didn't even flinch. "A figure skater can't fall over!"

"Woah, woah!" the lady said, holding her arms up. "You want to be a figure skater?"

I would have crossed my arms but I would have fallen over again if I'd let go of the wall. "Yes. I want to be able to do jumps where they spin, like, four times!"

The lady laughed again and shook her head. "There's more to figure skating than jumps. Don't you want to be like a hockey player or something?"

"No!" I cried out. "I want to be like-"

"Like who?" the lady asked, tilting her head.

"Like that boy."

"Which boy?"

I furrowed my brows and thought hard. "Like that boy with the brown hair who won a medal."

"A medal?"

"Yes!" I said.

"What do you mean, a medal?"

I almost shouted in frustration. I just wanted to be a figure skater just like that boy who glided across the ice like a bird.

"He was big and he was older than me. He was wearing a white costume." I said, trying to replay the day when I watched all the skaters trying to win a medal. I wanted to do that one day! I wanted to stand on the top of the big block thing and have a gold medal around my neck!

The lady raised her hand to her chin and she looked like she was thinking. "I'm not sure who you're talking about but I have all the faith in you that you can be as good as him. Skate to me." she ordered.

"What's 'faith'?" I asked.

The lady thought for a moment."It means I have complete belief in you. Now skate to me!"

"Why?" I asked, wiping my tear stained face.

"If you want to be a figure skater, you need to be able to skate." she said. "Come on then! Skate to me!"

I only tightened my grip on the wall. What if I fell over again? It hurt a lot the first time I fell over. But I wanted to be like the boy in the white costume! I couldn't be like him if I stayed by the wall all the time! Reluctantly, I let go, waiting for the ice to meet my face again. But it didn't happen. I stayed on my feet.

"Well done!" the lady cried encouragingly. "See, you can do it!"

I widened my eyes. "I'm standing up!"

The lady held her arms out. "Right, I now want you to skate to me."

I wasn't ready for that! She was really far away! What if I fell over again? I shook my head vigorously.

The lady raised an eyebrow. "You thought you couldn't stand up before, and you actually can. It's the same here! It's just like walking. Step and glide."

She showed the action to me. I shook my head again.

The lady sighed, but it didn't seem like a real sigh to me. "Watch me first."

She skated to the right, making the action very slow and obvious. The way she moved looked a lot like the boy with the brown hair I saw skate. I wanted to be like that boy! And if I needed to skate to the lady to be like him, then I would skate to the other side of the rink if I had to!

The lady returned to the place she was stood earlier. "Skate to me!"

I took a step forward, and the skate slipped on the ice. I squealed and put my other foot in front of me to stop me from falling and flailed my arms, but I didn't fall. Instead, I slowly slid forwards. I gasped and looked up at the lady, to see if I was doing it right.

The lady smiled, showing her teeth. "That's it! Take another step!"

I did. I took another step. And another. And I imagined that I was that boy with the costume that looked like a swan, gliding across the ice. As I was getting lost in my day dream my skate caught a bump in the ice and I lost my careful balance. My body jerked forwards and I put my hands in front of myself to break my fall, but the ground never came. Instead, the lady had caught me under my arms.

"How old are you, kid?" she asked me.

"I-I'm nine." I gasped, thanking the stars for not letting me fall over again.

The lady raised her eyebrow again. Did she think I was too young? I really wanted to be a figure skater!

"Nearly ten!" I cried out, determined to make her think I was up for it.

"You have a lot of potential, kid." she smiled. "I'm Luli. I'd be honoured if you'd consider me coaching you. I'll try my best to help you be like the person who inspired you.

My jaw dropped. My mother had often told me that it was rude but I couldn't help myself. It was like I had already won a medal.

"I'll let you decide that with your parents." Luli smiled, and skated in front of me, still with my mouth wide open, and put a small card in my hands. "That's my number. I look forward to seeing you soon!"

She began to skate towards the exit, but stiffened as if she'd forgotten something.

"Wait!" she said. "I didn't even catch your name!"

"Guang Hong." I said so softly I didn't even hear it myself. I was too busy staring at the blue card in my hand.

"Huh? Sorry, you're gonna have to say that again!"

I didn't say it again. I was too busy imagining what was yet to come.

 _Guang Hong Ji, China's best figure skater, competing in the Grand Prix Final in the hopes of bringing home a gold medal..._


	2. Chapter 2

With Luli's help, I managed to get over my fear of the ice. Determination was the only thing that kept me going. Yes, the ice terrified me, but all I wanted was to be like Swan Boy (that's what I decided to call the ice skating boy who inspired me. I was nine! Get over it!) and nothing was going to stop me. I decided very early on that I didn't like the ice skates that the rink provided me with. They were ugly, clunky and various other people had worn them before me and that made me uncomfortable. It is gross though! How many people had put their stinky feet into those skates? I desperately wanted my own skates but my mother and Luli both agreed that it was very early stages and It was likely that I would give up figure skating when I found it too difficult (and also my mother didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a professional pair of ice skates). I guess she had a point though. I clearly wasn't a professional (as demonstrated by my nine-year-old self falling flat on his face more than twenty times every session) and my feet weren't going to stay the same size forever. I actually look at my feet now and see the scars my skates have inflicted on them from hours and hours of training. I proved Luli and my mother wrong. I didn't give up. I wanted to get to the competitive stage. I wanted to compete against Swan Boy some day. He was out there and I wanted to skate on the same ice he had touched.

I am seventeen, and time is running out.

Swan Boy was eleven when I was nine. That means he is nineteen now. If he's still skating, it won't be for much longer. Figure skaters only stay competitive for a short time and it's likely that, if he hasn't already, he may retire in a few years. I don't even know his name, his nationality or ANYTHING about him. This worries me. If I do compete against him, how do I know he's even there? People change a lot in eight years. What if I don't recognise him? What if, say, he IS there? What he sees me skating and watches me crash onto the ice like the failure I am? What if-

Luli's shout brings me back to the present. I widened my eyes and a bolt of panic shot through me. What was I doing? Oh yes! Triple axel!

Bend knee... Forward outside edge... Kick! Twist: one, two, three, half...

My skates hit the ice again but I forgot in my state of panic to transfer my weight to the back outside edge of my skates and I landed on my hands and knees. I stared at my hands pressed against the ice and my vision doubled for a second. I've flubbed triple axels before but why did I feel so upset? This wasn't even a competition: just Luli and me in a training session. My throat tightened and I tried to loosen it with a cough. Exhaling slowly, I flicked my hair out of my eyes and stood up. Luli leant over the gate and smiled at me.

"Hey, Ji! I know that's the most difficult of the triples but it's worth-"

"...the most points when landed successfully..." I growled under my breath, finishing her sentence. I hate the stupid nickname she gave me when I was about eight. She thought it was easier to say than Guang Hong. It's just one more syllable!

She beamed at me. "I have taught you well."

I skated slowly over to her and took the bottle of water she had gotten out of the vending machine earlier out of her hands.

"I only remember that stuff 'cause you drill it into me all day, twenty-four seven." I moaned, struggling with the plastic blue cap. My hands are shaking for some reason and I can't... open... the.. fu-

I gritted my teeth and cut off that train of thought, still straining to open the bottle. Luli stood there, arms crossed, obviously amused at my pathetic attempt to open it. She continued to watch me getting angrier as the bottle continues to be stubborn, raising an eyebrow when I give up and put the bottle down on the side.

"Whatever..." I mumble, letting my arms fall to my sides. "I wasn't thirsty anyway."

Luli uncrossed her arms and leant over the side again. "Are you done stropping?"

I snorted and turned my back to her. I heard her stifle a laugh. How dare she? I was in a particularly bad mood and she had no right to-

A hand pushed me sharply in between my shoulder blades and, taken by surprise, I jerked forwards, putting a foot in front of me to stop me from doing a nine-year-old me. Spinning around, I saw Luli looking smug as she inspects her nails.

"Hey!" I shouted, stiffening my shoulders and curling my hands into fists. "What was that for?"

"You need a whack around the head, young man!" she replied, wagging a finger in my face, eyes sparkling with amusement. "There's no room for angry boys on the ice!"

Luli always sees the funny side of things, but doesn't let that get in the way of anything. She can be very strict and she is TERRIFYING if she gets angry (but that's very rare. One time I spilt lemonade over the ice and she went ballistic. I haven't touched the stuff since).

Rolling my eyes and putting my best scowl on my face, I stepped back a bit and put some distance between her and me. Far enough away from her so that she couldn't push me again, but close enough so I could hear her. Boy... BOY? Honestly, I know I'm small for my age but she could stop rubbing it in my face...

Luli chucked and rested her chin on her hand "You shouldn't scowl, Ji!"

I scowled even harder at that. I can scowled however the hell I want and she can't stop me! But, wow, her laugh is contagious... My lips twitched up a bit and before I can stop myself I let out a snort.

Luli smiled. "Your face is too pretty to have a scowl plastered all over it, Ji!" She wagged her finger at me again. "The girls won't chase you if you look angry all the time!"

My skin burned for a second then goes ice cold. My jaw dropped slightly but I managed to snap it shut quickly. I can feel a blush blooming on my cheeks and I turned my head away, hoping she didn't notice. I pretty much always have a slight flush but would that cover the pink wave that was spreading across my face? Does she know? Ugh, fat chance. Luli always knows...

Luli must have noticed how uncomfortable her comment had made me. Swiftly, she stood up straight and clapped her hands sharply. The sudden noise made me jump.

"Do it again!" She commanded.

"Do what?" I asked, confused, hoping my pink on my cheeks was fading.

"Triple axel! Go!"

Scoffing, I skated in a circle, picking up speed for the jump. Bend... Kick... Twist: one, two, three, half-

My skates hit the ice and once again, I forgot to transfer my weight to the back outside edge of my skates and I ended up on my backside, bruising my coccyx for possibly the ten thousandth time in my life. My bad mood instantly flared up again and I heaved myself onto my feet, scowling at Luli.

Of course, she was laughing her head off.

I ignored the throbbing in my tailbone and skated to the gate where I snatched my blade covers out of her hands. Luli was leaning against the wall, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh my gosh, Ji!" she howled. "That was the best fall we've seen since you were nine!"

My ears were heating up and I missed my blades with the covers several times before succeeding. Stepping off the ice, I stormed to the bench opposite the gate, and sat down sharply, forgetting my bruised coccyx and gasping in pain as pain flared through my arse.

Luli found this hilarious, of course, and slid down the side of the rink, crying with laughter.

I pulled my skates off my feet, my eyesight blurring and fumbled with my trainer laces before giving up. Standing up, I slung my bag over my shoulder, walked over to Luli, and took the previously abandoned bottle of water from the side, ignoring Luli as she continued to cry with laughter.

"See you tomorrow, Luli." I said curtly, before heading towards the exit. Luckily the ice rink was empty except for the lady behind the kiosk, who looked curiously at Luli rolling around on the floor in hysterics. I dreaded to think what people would have thought if the rink was full of people. Honestly, how would you feel if a middle aged woman began rolling across the floor of a public ice rink crying with laughter? Thought so.

"Oh, one last thing, Ji!" Luli called out behind me.

Sighing, I turned my head to look at her. "What is it Luli?"

Luli smiled. "Next time you want to open a bottle of water, try twisting the cap the other way!"

I spun around and left the rink as fast as my unlaced trainers would let me, tripping over them as Luli continued to howl with laughter behind me, embarrassment heating up my face. I strolled across the car park, turned left and followed the road down to the big birch. I then crossed the road and followed the railway tracks until I felt I was far away enough from the building. Only then did I look at the bottle in my hands. I gave an exasperated sigh and twisted the cap once. It opened without much force. I sighed, closed my eyes and leant back against the wall.

Luli knew me too well.

She probably also knew about how nervous I was about the upcoming competition. She probably also knew how worried I was about what might happen to my skating career depending on the outcome.

But if she knew all that about me, she probably knew about-

I shook my head and splashed some of the water from the bottle on my face. My bag slid off my shoulder and slumped to the floor.

It wasn't worth dwelling on.

My breath frosted in front of my face and I shivered violently from the water on my face. It was late. My mother was probably wondering where I was. I poured the rest of the water into the bush behind me, screwed the cap back onto the bottle and slung my bag onto my shoulder again.

Running my fingers through my damp hair, I turned around, and headed towards home.

But however much I tried, I couldn't shake the thought of Luli knowing my deepest secret out of my mind.

 **A/N Hi readers! Thanks for taking the time to read this chapter.**

 **Skating. I AM NOT A SKATER! I rely on the internet and the Yuri! on Ice series for the skating stuff so if I get something wrong please let me know in a review and I will happily correct it. I'm learning so don't be mad if I do something HIDIOUSLY wrong with the story, characters or anything. Again, please leave a review as they are much appreciated!**

 **I had to look up a name for Guang Hong's coach, as I couldn't find anything on the Internet about her. I don't own any of the characters or Yuri! on Ice so don't sue me please!**

 **Every notifiction I get makes my day, whether you follow the story, or leave a review. I love every one of them!**

 **This story is multi-chapter! I will try to upload a chapter every week but this may depend on how busy life gets.**

 **For those who love Victori/Vikturi/Victuuri/insertanyothershipnamehere expect some of that in future chapters!**

 **Reviews are love!**

 **-Crocodillia**


	3. Chapter 3

**Three weeks later**

 _Not good enough... not good enough... not good enough..._

I ran.

 _Failure. You're a failure._

Tried to escape.

I ran until I couldn't take another step and slumped to the ground, my face pressed against the concrete. My chest heaved and sobs wracked my body, making me violently jerk, tears streaming down my face.

It was dark. There was nobody around except for the streetlamp over my head, flickering as if it was about to go out any second. In some ways, I felt the same. Cold, alone, close to shutting down. However if the lamp did go out, there would always be a person willing to replace the bulb. Who was that person for me? Was it Luli? Or my mother? Somehow it didn't feel like either of them.

My stomach suddenly heaved and I managed to avoid to roll to the side to avoid throwing up the little food I had eaten all over myself. I managed to craw over to the lamp and prepared myself to vomit again, but there wasn't anything left inside me and I ended up retching and spitting out mucus.

Clutching my stomach, I slumped to the ground again, pressed my back to the lamp post and drew my knees up to my chin.

 _Well_ , I thought to myself, _you did your best and that's all that matters._

It felt wrong lying to myself, though.

I don't know how long I sat there, curled up against the street lamp, but it was long enough for my hands and feet to go numb with cold. I buried my face further into my knees and waited. Someone would find me soon. Even if they didn't, I couldn't care less. I deserved to be left out in the cold. I was a failure.

Someone lightly tapped me on the shoulder and I could tell it was Luli from the way she had approached me without me noticing. I looked up at her.

"Ji." she said softly, and offered me her hand.

When I refused to take it, she simply grabbed me by the arm and heaved me onto my feet (she had lots of practice from training me).

My head drooped and my shoulders slumped. I would have cried more, but what was the point? Crying never gets you anywhere.

Luli took me by the shoulders and shook me. "Snap out of it!"

I continued to stare at the pavement, my arms limp by my sides, and let her shake me.

Luli let go of my shoulders and turned my chin so I had no choice but to look at her. We stood there, just staring at each other, for a good few minutes before I took her hand away from my chin.

"Luli."I whispered, diverting my gaze away from her unblinking one, unable to look at her.

"Shi?"

I exhaled slowly, trying to loosen my tightening chest. "I... I don't know if I want to continue figure skating anymore."

Her sharp intake of breath told me that she wasn't expecting that.

"You...what?"

I straightened up. "I don't know if I want to continue figure skating."

"Ji-"

"Save your breath, Luli." I interrupted, staring at the ground again. " I failed. Again. I've lost the drive to keep skating and I'm afraid if I keep failing I'll lose my love for it all together."

Luli didn't say anything, so I continued, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.

"Skating is the one thing that I love. I love it more than life itself and I just don't know whether-"

"Whether what?"

I tried to keep my carefully built up composure but in that one moment it collapsed. Luli wrapped her arms around me and let me sob into her shoulder.

"Skating is always worth it, Ji." she murmured into my ear. "Even the best skaters didn't get to their level without failing. Everyone fails. It's not worth tearing yourself up over."

I pulled away from her. "That's not the problem!"

"What is the problem then?"

"I-" My voice cracked. "I'm so scared that if I fail again I'll lose the love I had for skating before."

Luli ran her hands through her hair. "Don't you want to compete in the Grand Prix?"

"Didn't you hear me? I don't want to skate anymore!" I clenched my fists as anger bubbled inside me like molten lava. "Anyway, it's already too late to enter Skate China."

Luli raised a finger. "Ah, but it isn't too late for Skate England!"

I lifted my arms and dropped them again in exasperation. "Oh for the love of... Luli! I don't want to skate anymore!"

She waggled her finger in my face. "You're not going to drop me as your coach that easily. You _will_ enter Skate England, and you _will_ still love skating. Prove that to yourself."

It was no use arguing. Once Luli made up her mind there was no changing it. But I didn't feel as upset as I should have been.

"Luli, Skate England's not until after New Year." I made one last attempt to change her mind. It was September now, and New Year wasn't until the end of January, and the Skate England Programme was a few weeks after New Year, so that made one, two, three, four and a bit months until then! "That's too far away."

"Well, plenty of time to practice, eh?" Luli tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes.

I sighed. She knew she'd won, and I did too. "Well, I do need to practice a bit..."

Luli elbowed me in the ribs so violently that I staggered. "A bit? Well ain't that the understatement of the day!"

"All right... I need to practice a lot." I winced, rubbing my side, already feeling a bruise.

"Well, boy, you'd better get packing!"

My eyes shot open and I rapidly replayed the conversation, looking for something I had agreed to without realising. "Packing?"

"That rink back in Shanghai won't be good enough for training." she said cheerfully, slinging an arm around my neck. "Always full of five year olds and having to book three _years_ in advance...ughh..." Luli shuddered dramatically, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

"Does my mother know about this?" I asked, slightly worried at what the answer would be.

"Oh yes!" Luli smirked. "She's known about my doubts about the rink for a while now."

I dropped my head and grumbled under my breath. Trust Luli to keep secrets with my mother!

I unwrapped her arm from around my neck. "If we're not going back to Shanghai, then where are we going to train?"

"There's a reason I didn't sign you up for Skate China, Ji." She walked a few steps away and twirled before facing me and... was she doing jazz hands? "We're going to England!"

"Uh... what?" My brain didn't quite register what she was trying to say.

England? That tiny island with awful weather and horrible food?

I managed to breath in slowly and look at her. "Why England?"

"One: since you quit school for skating your English hasn't been up to scratch." she said this in English, which she seemed to find very amusing.

"My English are fine!" I shot back (also in English), which earned me an eyebrow raise.

"Uh..." I figured out my mistake and corrected myself. " _Is_ fine, I mean!"

"Two!" Luli continued, counting on her fingers, "My old skating partner and his wife own a rink in England and said I was welcome to visit any time."

I gave up at this point and leant back against the lamp post.

"Three: your social skills aren't great either."

"Excuse me?" I spluttered.

"Who's the one who never stays for any of the banquets at the end of competitions? Who's the one who doesn't meet any friends after skating?"

She had a point though. It was true, since I quit school I didn't have many opportunities to interact with other people my age. The fact that I never stayed to meet anyone at the end of competitions didn't help either.

"Minami's my friend!" I retorted.

"Isn't Minami in Japan? When was the last time you spoke to him, Ji?" Luli's voice had a hint of pity in it.

"Uh... I DMed him last night..." This was a lie. I did occasionally talk to Minami, a Japanese skater my age, on Instagram but we messaged each other less and less as I began to put more into skating.

"Mhmm... What about?"

"I asked him..." I struggled to find a believable enough topic that two teenage boys would talk about but, due to my lack of friends, I couldn't exactly find one.

"Er...I asked him what he ate... for... breakfast..." I trailed off.

I could see that Luli obviously didn't believe me but she decided not to comment. "Finally, you can't live with your mother forever, Ji. Don't you think it's time you learnt how to live independently if you're not going to University?"

I took a sharp intake of breath. "But..."

"Ji, perhaps it's time you took a leap of faith. How old are you?"

She knew how old I was, but I answered anyway. "Seventeen."

"Seventeen years old, and you're still living with your mama?" Luli tutted, trying to put on a disappointed face but failing.

"I... You... what?"

"Eventually a swallow's gotta leave the nest, Ji."

My face fell and I looked at the ground. " So, we go to England." I looked up at Luli again. "Then what?"

"Correction: you will fly to England by yourself. It's your first step of independence, shi?"

I've been on aeroplanes many times but never on my own. And how long was the flight from China to England? 10 hours or something? Panic began to flutter in my chest. I'd been on longer flight before but, like I said, I'd never gone on my own before.

"Then what?"

"I can book a hotel for a few nights. You will stay there for a full day and night by yourself. Still with me?"

I wanted to shout at her that I couldn't go on a 10 hour flight by myself and then be by myself for a full 24 hours. But I didn't say anything. Luli was right: I wasn't going to skate forever and I needed to know how to live independently.

"I will then fly over and meet you at the hotel. We will then go to my ex skating partner's rink and I will stay there. You, however, need to find somewhere to live for the next few months like a student house or something."

This was too much. Live with someone I didn't know? For a few _months_? I couldn't do that!

"Luli!" I cried out. "I think you've forgotten that I'm seventeen. I'm technically not an adult in either China or England. You'd be leaving me on my own to fend for myself in a foreign country! That's child neglect!"

Luli crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "I think _you've_ forgotten that your birthday is on the second of November."

My face crumpled and I knew she had won. Again.

"When do we go?"

"Hold on, I haven't finished yet. Once you have your temporary accommodation, you will leave every morning to go to practice. Your mother will provide you with money so you can skate full-time without having to get a part-time job. You will cook for yourself and clean after yourself, and I want you to fit in some social activities so you can at least meet some new people."

My back was beginning to freeze from the cold lamp post I was leaning against. I turned my head to look at Luli.

"Then..?" I asked her.

"We can take a break and fly back to China for the New Year and to see your mother. Then once the festivities are over we will return to England so you can compete in Skate England. If you get placed, we will follow the competition to wherever it may take us. If not-" She looked at me sternly, "-which won't happen, we will return to China, and you can decide to quit skating then, and only then."

I really didn't want to do it but a part of me didn't want to let skating go. I was afraid that if I stopped now, I'd be an empty shell with no purpose and no future. If I failed in Skate England, then at least I would have gained something from it than if I didn't. Skills that would probably set me up for life.

"I'll do it." I said.

Luli smiled. It wasn't a big smile, but it reminded me a lot of Swan Boy. What if Swan Boy came back to China and I wasn't there?

It wasn't worth thinking about. Swan Boy had never come back to China in the last eight years and he wouldn't in the next few months. Wasn't it about time I dropped these silly dreams of being able to compete against him?

"When do we go?" I asked Luli again, trying to distract myself.

"You're eighteen in about a week. We'll go back to Shanghai and get ready to leave, and squeeze in a few more practices at the rink."

"Okay." I didn't feel the need to say any more.

"Guang Hong." Luli faced me and put her hands on my shoulders .She never called me Guang Hong unless she was very serious about something. "Skating is your life. I know it might not feel like it now but I can tell when I watch you skate. It's not something you can just leave behind."

She was right. I refused to acknowledge this though, and lifted my chin up in defiance.

"Come on then." She let her hands fall from my shoulders. "Let's grab your stuff."

 **A/N I'm so sorry for the short chapter! Life has been pretty busy ;-;**

 **Leo will make an appearance next chapter and it's gonna get very fluffy. Don't go anywhere!**

 **If I get anything wrong with the skating, story, characters etc please let me know in a review as they are very much appreciated.**

 **I haven't had time to have someone proof read this so if there's some spelling or gramatical errors please let me know in a review and I will happily correct it.**

 **Thank you for every follow, favourite and review as they make my day.**

 **\- Crocodillia**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I realise I didn't make this clear enough but I am writing this story separate to the events in YOI. This story is completely independent to the series so people who are not familiar to YOI could read this and probably understand it fine. In this fiction Guang Hong has not yet met Leo, unless you count their first encounter in Chapter one. Hopefully this makes more sense now.**

 **Also, I had to change Guang Hong's birthday to a few months earlier so that it would make the events of this fiction easier to write.**

 **Thanks, and enjoy this chapter!**

"Luli, I hate you so much."

The words had been on my tongue for over a week but had never quite fallen into speech until now.

"I know." Luli smiled and gestured towards the departures sign. "Go on then!"

I grumbled under my breath to try and force down the panicked shriek that was threatening to break free.

"What's the name of the hotel again?" I asked her, trying to stall.

Luli wasn't having any of that.

"You know what the name of the hotel is!" she said cheerfully, slapping me on the back with such force I almost fell over.

"No, I actually don't!" I cried out, the panic in my voice all too real, the claim not so much.

"The booking's on your phone, Ji."

I slung my bag over my shoulder to try and stop my shaking hands. "I knew that."

Luli could obviously tell how tense I was. "Come on, Ji. Surely this can't be any worse than the China Nationals?"

"Don't remind me." I said, slumping my shoulders. Suddenly the noisy bustle of the airport became the disappointed mumbles of the audience as I fell onto the ice, one, two, three times. I shook my head to clear it and turned to face Luli.

"I'll see you later, Ji." Luli wrapped her arms around my neck. "If anything goes wrong, just ring me, okay?"

"Sure." I returned the gesture, and turned away.

"Bye!" she said softly. "I'll be right behind you."

My throat tightened, not with sadness, but with anxiety. I was about to walk away from the only familiar face I would see for the next three days.

"Bye, Luli."

~oO0Oo~

 _Okay, the plane's landed. Ugh, don't feel too great after that. I can't wait to get off- Hold on, I need to wait for the seatbelt light… Why isn't it turning off? Ah, there we go. Okay, now wait for the people in front to finish… Stand up, grab your stuff from the overhead lockers. So far so good._

The random thoughts kept popping into my head every two seconds. I was never this jumpy except for before competitions and I was doing my own head in. I was so paranoid that something could go wrong and there wouldn't be anyone there to-

 _'Guang Hong!'_ I told myself sternly _. 'Just get off the fucking plane before you do something really stupid!'_

If I had said that sort of language in front of Luli or my mother it would have probably earned me a slap. But I wasn't in front of Luli or my mother. I was here, thousands of miles away from both, and I could do whatever the hell I wanted!

A small bloom of happiness erupted in my chest, but was quickly forgotten as I took a lot longer than I should have stepping off the plane.

 _Right. You managed to get off the plane without dying. What next? Oh yes, baggage collection._

I didn't have any luggage to collect from baggage collection but I needed to head through it towards the exit. I searched frantically for a sign that could direct me to it through the crowds of heads, before seeing one and forcing my way through the swarms of people, earning myself lots of glares and comments I could not hear.

Managing to get to baggage collection, I scurried past the winding conveyor belts and reached into my back pocket to take my phone out. Hope that someone from home had messaged me tickled my stomach. I wanted that familiarisation of talking to someone that spoke my native language and I don't know why, but now I was in a completely different country on my own I missed it more than anything. I held down the power button and watched the logo appear on the screen. The wait for the phone to turn on felt like hours, until finally the lock screen popped up and I hastily pressed my thumb to the fingerprint scanner. The phone unlocked and I swiped from the bottom and disabled aeroplane mode. For the next few minutes I waited for any messages to come through, tapping my foot impatiently. Suddenly the phone vibrated to show I had a message. At first it made me jump, but the next minute I was so excited I almost threw it across the airport. The message was from Luli.

 _Everything okay?_

I wanted to reply saying I was certainly _not_ okay and I had had a terrifying and traumatic experience and I needed human comfort, not a message over the phone and it was her fault that I wasn't okay in the first place.

But that would have taken me too long to type.

I quickly typed out a 'Yes. Arrived. Going to hotel' and sent it. When I was sure it was sent I flicked the phone off and slipped it back into my back pocket.

I was suddenly knocked to the side by a weight hitting me from behind. I gasped and tried to put my foot out to stop me from face planting the floor, however there were too many people around for me to catch myself successfully. My suitcase was torn from my grip and I flung my arms in front of me to at least minimise the amount of blood the poor airport cleaners were going to have to clean up. My mother was very used to having to clean blood off the floor in our small house back in Shanghai. Especially at the bottom of the stairs. I may be a figure skater but I'm clumsier on solid ground than on the ice. Great logic, I know. It's just that, on the ice I feel that I belong. I have a certain connection with the ice that I can't explain, really. When I'm off the ice I feel like an elephant walking on a sheet of glass. No matter how careful I am I just... Well, you can see for yourself. I had fallen a lot on the ice too recently, especially in competitions.

 _You gonna do that again this time, huh, Guang Hong?_

Anyway, back to me falling.

Mid-flight, I internally cringed at the fact that I was going to be sprawled on the floor of a public airport. Well, I _would_ have been sprawled on the floor of a public airport if someone hadn't caught me. My outstretched arms floundered uselessly and my eyes bulged at the sudden force on my neck as they grabbed my collar from behind and hauled me onto my feet.

I coughed once and rubbed my neck. It hurt, but not as much as hitting the floor would have been (I know that from experience). I then proceeded to brush down the creases in my clothes, and running my hand through my hair, I turned around to thank my saviour.

The words didn't make it to my tongue.

Dark brown eyes locked with mine. My hand froze, still tangled in my hair, and I was partially aware of my jaw dropping slightly. The owner of those eyes had bronze skin, thick eyebrows, medium length brown hair which was drawn into a short ponytail behind his head and a dazzling smile with pearly white teeth. He had earbuds in his ears, the wire snaking down his neck and disappearing into his back pocket. He was about a head taller than me, skinny but well built, and wore black skinny jeans and a black tracksuit jacket over a grey shirt. He must have only been a few years older than me, however I look very young for my age. I may be an adult but I still look like a twelve-year-old. While most may not prefer being as vertically challenged as I, being small still has its perks. I still get child fare on the bus.

I didn't even realise the guy was speaking until my hand, still caught up in my hair from earlier dropped down to my side, making me jump. Oh come _on_ , my own hand! What had this guy done to me? I wasn't ever this jumpy except before competitions!

"Sorry, mate! I didn't mean to knock you over. When I listen to music I just, kinda, zone out, you know?"

He spoke in English, with an accent which I couldn't put my finger on. American? My English was good but it wasn't fluent and I didn't quite understand some of the things he had said. 'Zone out?' What the hell did that mean?

"Uh..." My mouth was dry and I tried to reply, but all that came out was a croak.

"Oh!" the guy exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. "Do you speak English? _Parlez-vous Anglais_? Uh… _Sprechen sie Englisch_?"

"I speak English." I managed to reply, but he didn't seem to have heard me.

"¿ _Habla usted Inglés_?" he continued, looking at me in the eye.

"Yeah, I speak English?" I repeated, confused as to why he was asking in all these different languages.

"Wait wait wait!" the guy exclaimed. "I want to get your language."

I was very confused at this point. "Why? I could just tell you-"

"Shush-shush-shush!" he said, waving a hand in my face. "What about… uh… _ty govorish po-angilysky?"_

"I'm not Russian…" I said slowly, unsure of what to make of this stranger. Wasn't my Chinese heritage obvious?

"Hmm." The guy brought his hand to his chin and thought hard. " _Snakker du engelsk_?"

"Wh-what?" I said, laughing softly. "What language even is that?"

"Norwegian." he replied, giving off a single burst of laughter. It was beautiful, like a dash of sunlight, and made my heart leap in my chest for some reason. It was also contagious. I was suddenly biting back laughter.

"Wh-why would you learn Norwegian?" I asked, my lips twitching up uncontrollably.

"Never know when you might need it." he laughed, giving me a dazzling smile.

All the air left my lungs and I was suddenly gasping for breath, like someone had kicked me in the chest.

"Are you all right, mate? You don't look very well." the guy said, concern darkening his face.

I coughed and managed to get out a few words despite my sudden breathlessness.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

The guy smiled and flicked his hair out of his eyes with a swift movement of his head. My heart thumped wildly against my ribcage.

"Okay, that's good to know!" he replied. "You had me worried there for a second!"

He was worried about me? But I didn't know him! Why would he worry about me? I quickly diverted my gaze to the floor to avoid his gaze.

" _Nǐ huì shuō yīngyǔ ma_?"

My head snapped up and I could begin to feel my throat tighten at the familiar language.

"Wh-what?" I rasped, trying to loosen my chest.

"I was trying to guess your language, remember?" the stranger said, tilting his head to one side. "So, _nǐ huì shuō yīngyǔ ma_?"

His pronunciation was atrocious, but it was still enough for a wave of homesickness almost sweep me off my feet and tears to begin pricking at my eyes.

" _Shì_." I replied softly. " _Wǒ shuō yīngyǔ_."

The guy tilted his head to the other side, obviously noticing my reaction. "Hey, are you okay-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!" I blubbed, looking around wildly for an excuse to turn away from him.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my suitcase lying on the floor a few meters away, with the lid open and the contents scattered. I pounced on it and began piling my clothes back into it, my face heating up when I realised the guy was staring at me from the two pinpricks of heat on my back. Sixth sense, you know?

"Hey, wait!" I heard the guy's voice behind me. "Let me help you out."

 _No, go away!_

My hands began to shake as I fumbled around the floor, trying to pick up more items but it was like trying to play one of those awful claw machines that you never win anything from.

He knelt beside me and was so close to me that I could hear the music from his earbuds. My heart was beating so fast I was surprised it didn't burst out of my chest. Hoping his music covered the sound of my heart, I turned my head to the side and focused on trying to pick up one of my hoodies that was next to me. I lobbed it into the suitcase and tried to breath in but my chest was too tight. The guy reached over me to pick up my favourite scarf and gently folded it and placed it on top of the scrunched-up clothes that I had hurled in seconds before. I think it was an accident but his elbow caught me on the shoulder as he reached over. The small contact made heat bloom over my arm and my eyes once again darted around looking for an excuse to move away from him.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my ice skates were on the floor quite far away. I got up and speed-walked over to them, knelt down and picked them up. They were still in their protective case but what if they were damaged? I panicked briefly. These were my favourite skates and I'd left all my others back in China! Luli would probably bring them over with her later but they weren't the same as these ones.

I unzipped the case and almost cried out in relief then I saw that they were in the same condition they were when I'd left China. Just to be sure I lifted the right skate out, and examined it all over, checking for scuffs and scratches that weren't there before. I know the scratches on my skates inside and out but luckily there weren't any new ones to add to my memory. I then took off the blade cover and examined the blade closely, looking for any weaknesses in the metal. There weren't any visible ones, so I put the blade cover back on, and started to repeat the process with the left skate. I was so caught up in my search for damage that I didn't realise the guy was standing next to me and watching my every move.

"Ice skater, hmm?" he asked. The sudden noise made me jump and I looked up at him, skate still in my hand.

"Figure skater, actually." I mumbled, and went back to examining my skates.

"Mhmm." The guy flicked his hair out of his eyes again. "Competition?"

I tried to continue staring at my skates but my eyes were beginning to blur. "Sort of."

I scrunched up my eyes, counted to ten, breathed out slowly and put my skates back in their case, satisfied there was no damage, then stood up and went back to my suitcase. I placed my skates on top, then zipped the case back up again and huffed in annoyance when I realised that the lock was broken. I didn't really care, to be honest, but I was more worried about my skates being stolen than anything else.

I stood up and turned to look at the guy. He was standing behind me, tapping his foot slightly. I assumed it was from whatever song he was listening to.

"Well, thanks for catching me earlier." I mumbled, blush spreading across my face. I was unable to look at him in the eye, for some reason.

"That's okay!" The guy beamed at me, and my heart began thumping wildly again. "I'm sorry for pushing you in the first place."

"Well..." I didn't know what to say. Was this goodbye? I'd only met this guy about five minutes ago, and I'd never see him again if we parted ways. What were the chances if we did meet again? This reminded me a lot of-

I inhaled suddenly. This guy... what if _he_ was-

"Well, I'll see you around, kid!" The guy tilted his head and smiled. It wasn't the beaming, dazzling smile he gave me earlier, but a tiny smile, one that only tugged up the corners of the mouth.

My heart wasn't thumping wildly any more. It almost felt like it had stopped completely. That smile! It was the same as-

"Good luck at your competition!" he turned around, and headed towards the escalator on the right.

I stood there, jaw dropped, watching him walk away, dragging his suitcase behind him. That guy... he couldn't be-

The guy had only walked a few steps away before he obviously noticed something on the floor. I watched him as he stooped over and picked whatever the object was. He examined it for a few minutes before turning back and beginning to walk in my direction. I immediately started to panic and tried to find something to busy myself with so he didn't think that I had been staring at him the whole time. I dove my hands into my pockets, looking for my phone so I could pretend that I was looking at messages or something, but only then did I realise that the familiar weight in my back pocket wasn't there. I screwed up my eyes and sagged my shoulders. Now I'd gone and lost my bloody phone! I didn't exactly fancy going off to look for it but I had no choice really. I was in a foreign country and I needed it to talk to Luli and my mother. Someone probably would have stolen it by now anyway but I didn't exactly have anything to do except to go to the hotel Luli had booked for a few nights. It was worth a try looking for it anyway, wasn't it? Also, I thought suddenly, I still had my iPad and laptop in my backpack so I could still communicate with Luli if I didn't find my phone.

I grabbed my suitcase and began to walk back towards baggage collection when a hand suddenly clapped my shoulder. I jumped (again) and turned around to see the guy there again. Heat spread from where his hand had touched my shoulder and I was sure I was blushing again.

"Lost your phone?" he asked, holding up the object he had picked up earlier.

I took it from his hand, relief flooding to my head and making me dizzy.

"Thank you." I mumbled. "I was just going to go and look for it."

"Well now you don't have to!" he smiled again and then winked at me.

I swear, for all those anime watching fangirls out there, I would have projectile nosebled so much I would have died of blood loss.

"Thanks again..." I mumbled, slipping the phone back into my pocket and proceeding to look at the floor.

"No worries! Cute phone case by the way."

I was pretty sure my face was beet red at that point. He'd seen my pink phone case! He probably thought I was even more of a weirdo than I first came across. Then again, everyone sees me as a weirdo.

"Thanks... I have... to go. Suddenly. Bye." Unable to deal with the awkwardness levels, I grabbed my suitcase and speed-walked to the exit, trying not to implode as I felt his gaze on my back. Was he laughing? I could hear his soft chuckles as I strolled towards the rotating glass doors.

Despite the cold air hitting my face, my cheeks were red hot. I looked wildly around for somewhere where I could sit and deal with my embarrassment, and my eyes fell on a small wooden bench. I plonked down and buried my face in my hands.

Idiot! You just walked away from Swan Boy! He's the guy who inspired me to start figure skating!

If he even _was_ Swan Boy. What were the chances? I hadn't ever seen him in any of the competitions, or on television, and I had tried endless times to track him down on social media. And I ended bumping into him, quite literally, in a British airport.

How could that have been him? Granted, he looked similar but there had got to be lots of guys with long brown hair.

There was no mistaking that smile though. It had been imprinted on my mind since I was nine and seeing that guy today...

I thought back to when I was examining my ice skates. He had just stood there, watching me. Any normal person would have asked me why I was doing such a strange action, or slowly edged away because they were creeped out. It was like he didn't need to ask me. Because he'd done it countless times himself.

I thought back to when he was speaking in all those different languages. Nobody would have learnt that many languages unless they travelled a lot. Figure skating, especially competitive figure skating, required me to travel to various countries and it was useful to learn a few phrases in various tongues.

My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it, still sitting there with my face in my hands. Part of me wanted me to check it from force of habit, however it felt like my encounter with that guy in the airport had drained me and reaching into my pocket was too much energy. I stared at my palms and scrolled down my contacts screen in my head. Who could be messaging me right now? Luli? Yes, it was most likely her. Maybe my mother? No, she couldn't even figure out how to unlock her phone, let alone send me a message. I moved one hand away from my face and took my phone out of my pocket. I must have looked a strange sight then: one kid sitting outside an airport all alone, with phone in one hand and head in the other.

Finally, I gave in and unlocked my phone.

Minami had messaged me:

 _hi guang hong_

I sighed and replied:

 _hi_

I could see that Minami had seen the message and was typing to reply.

 _i see you_

I was confused. Why would he say that? I quickly typed out:

 _what?_

The reply came through almost immediately.

 _youre on a bench looking at your phone all confused_

I inhaled sharply. How did he..?

Another message popped up on my screen.

 _look_ _to your left_

Instinctively I did, and saw a skinny kid with blond hair and a red streak dyed into his fringe standing with a dark-haired woman outside the exit to the airport. When he saw me looking, he raised a hand in greeting. To my surprise, he then bent his left leg and spun three and a half times and landed, then tilted his head questioningly.

My jaw dropped. Minami could freaking land a triple axel when not even on the ice! I pulled myself together and nodded in reply.

Minami grinned, showing me his cute little tooth, and ran over to me, giving me a bear hug.

"What are you doing here, Guang?" he squealed, still crushing my ribs. "I haven't seen you in, like, forever!"

"I could ask you the same thing." I gasped.

Minami unravelled himself from around me and gazed at me.

"I'm here for Skate England!" he said, trembling with, what, excitement?

"Y-you are?" I said trying to feel the same happiness at the reunion Minami was showing, but instead nervousness flooded over me. Minami was competing too? Well, that blew my chances out of the water.

"Are you competing?" he asked.

"Me? Yeah." I mumbled, forcing a smile.

Minami's eyes widened and he let out a thrilled squeak.

"Yay! I'm so excited!" he cried, jumping up and down on the spot.

"Yay." I repeated, but Minami didn't hear me in his enthusiasm.

"Who's this, Minami?"

The dark-haired woman who was with Minami earlier had approached us without either of us noticing.

"You remember Guang Hong, don't you, Kanako?" asked Minami.

The woman's eyes widened in recognition.

"You were that kid from the Junior Worlds who-"

"Yep, that was me!" I interrupted, giving her a fake smile.

"Wow, that was way back…" Kanako said, scratching the back of her head.

"I'll enjoy competing against you again, Guang Hong!" Minami squeaked, clapping his hands together rapidly.

"Me too…" I said weakly.

"What are you doing here so early anyway, Guang Hong?" Kanako asked. "The competition's not for ages."

"Uh… Family business…" I lied, my throat dry.

"I have family here too!" Minami said, showing his tooth in a massive grin. "Where are you staying?"

"Uh… I'm staying at the Holiday Inn for a couple of days but accommodation is to be… confirmed…" I said, trailing off.

"Okay, do you want to meet up at some point before the competition?" he asked.

Kanako coughed lightly and tapped her watch.

"Sure, Minami. You guys obviously have to be somewhere so I'll take my leave." I said, slightly shaken at the rude gesture.

"DM me!" Minami said, before surrounding me in a hug again. "Sayōnara, Guang!"

"Zàijiàn, Minami." I replied softly, and watched him leave with Kanako.

~oO0Oo~

 **A/N Thanks for reading! I'm afraid that with the Chinese I had to rely on the internet for the translations, so if it's horrifically wrong then please let me know in a review. Also, there may be spelling and grammatical errors as I haven't had the chance to have someone proof read this. Sorry!**

 **I don't own Yuri on Ice or any of the characters.**

 **Follows, Faves and Reviews are very much appreciated!**

 **Parlez-vous Anglais? –Do you speak English? (French)**

 **Sprechen sie Englisch?- Do you speak English? (German)**

 **¿Habla usted Inglés? – Do you speak English (Spanish)**

 **Ty govorish po-angilysky? – Do you speak English? (Russian)**

 **Snakker du engelsk? – Do you speak English? (Norwegian)**

 **Nǐ huì shuō yīngyǔ ma? – Do you speak English? (Chinese)**

 **Shì** ** _-_** **Yes (Chinese)**

 **Wǒ shuō yīngyǔ. – I speak English (Chinese)**

 **Sayōnara – Goodbye (Japanese)**

 **Zàijiàn – Goodbye (Chinese)**


	5. Announcement

**A/N**

 **To my wonderful readers,**

 **I probably shouldn't be telling you this this way, but here goes anyway.**

 **I have some good and bad news to give to you today.**

 **I'll give you the bad news first.**

 **I am extremely sad and regretful to announce that I will be discontinuing this story (don't worry, keep reading for the good news if you like this story!).**

 **Why, you may ask?**

 **Well, the answer is simple. I just feel that the flow of this story isn't great and there are many errors in the writing and story that I hate and can't fix.**

 **Before I get a ton of hate and sad messages, DON'T WORRY!**

 **Here's the good news: I will be rewriting this story and it will be a lot better than this one. It will be under the same name and author and I can guarantee that it will be improved a lot.**

 **I will also be posting the new story (when I've gotten into the swing of things) on AO3 as well. If you wish to read the improved version after I've begun to upload it may be worth continuing to follow this one so that you can see any updates about the new story's progress.**

 **I am really sorry, guys. Thank you already so much for the support you have given me; I appreciate it so much and I hope you will stick with me until the new story is posted.**

 **Thank you, and I truly am sorry.**

 **-Crocodillia**


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